Anna’s story: Fearless and quietly confident

My 2 friends and I were sitting and talking at the Manorhaven Pool in Port Washington, NY …..The 3 of us are all Chinese-American with our kids nearby in the pool…A tall 6’4” drunk man came over and started harassing my friend who had earlier reprimanded him for trying to smoke in the pool area which is forbidden….He started asking about her ethnic origin: “Are you Korean? Are you Japanese, etc.?” and then he started to imply that if she was an illegal immigrant that he could possibly turn her in because he had “the power” and that she was someone “without power”…He flashed a badge and said that he was a Federal agent of some kind. My other friend and I watched him and waited for him to get bored and walk away ….meanwhile, I held up my cameraphone to him and took his photo (Thanks, Emily for making me feel fearless and quietly confident!)….

Later, he went away (he was there with his 2 daughters and maid and her daughter)…and started talking with the lifeguard….While he was chatting up the lifeguard, I went to the front desk and reported him…and they said they were aware and getting ready to close in on him…..

Thank you, Emily…I think in the past I would have felt more afraid and alone and embarrassed…. and somehow felt maybe I didn’t belong there and that maybe I had done something to bring this upon myself….It felt empowering to have my friends there at my side and all the other moms and their kids there….and knowing that I was not alone….There is safety in numbers…even if they weren’t all there, just knowing that what he was doing was called “harassment” and that he was the one in the wrong….and that other people would have reported him in the same situation was enormously comforting….. I will try to e-mail you his photo….


2 Responses

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  1. Anna Law says:

    Dearest Emily,

    Follow-up on my story: The pool staff spoke with my friends and then surrounded the drunk guy and kicked him out of the Manorhaven Pool…outside the police were already waiting and they arrested him!!!

    Thank you, Emily! My friends and family are all stunned! I think most people would have just ignored him but I was so angry I refused to take this lying down! Thank you for making me feel incredibly powerful today ( and I didn’t have to use any four-letter words or use any of my karate or shout at him…)! I realize now the incredible power of just speaking up and telling someone without raising my voice or using profanity….I also feel more in control of my rage and anxiety and despair…the power of the pen and the internet and a huge community of women (who want to protect themselves and their children) is so incredibly enormous….I had no idea!

    XOXO Forever to you, Emily! You have really changed my attitude permanently…The power was inside of me all this time…I just had to use it…!

  2. Issie says:

    I live In PW and I’ve seen this guy around. Total jerk and he freaks me out.

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