verbal

Being a badass bystander on the 4 train!

This girl was sitting next to me on the four train in Brooklyn heading to Manhattan. Then some guy comes over to her and said “I saw you looking at me.” She took off her headphones and said “No I was not looking at you.” Then he got closer to her and said “I saw you.” By this time, I had removed MY headphones and was ready for anything. I wasn’t going to let this jerk upset this girl, or who knows what! So he put out his hand and said “hi, my name is (whatever). She looked at him and said “no.” He looked let down and finally walked away to the other end of the car. I smiled at her and said “I’ve got your back.” She was happy, and we chatted a bit about how annoying and creepy men can be.It really felt great that I was going to help her, and I felt strong and really good about myself. So, we said our goodbyes when it was her stop, and we both happened to notice that he was talking to yet ANOTHER girl! We saw him putting out his hand for her to shake…and she did.

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verbal

Allison Mendez’s Story

This was probably the strangest encounter I’ve experienced. Usually when guys bother me on the street they tell me I’m pretty or how they wanna make me their wife and when I keep walking and ignore me they usually either make a remark about how I’m rude or follow me for a few steps. This guy moved from one end of the subway car to where I had just sat down. He asked me something and I removed my headphones to hear him clearly. He asked, Do I have makeup on my face? I said, No. He asked again, Are you sure? Like, do I have lipstick on my face from making out? I said, No, and put my headphones back on. He continued to stare at me disturbingly. His eyes or body did not move and he kept licking his lips. It was fucking creepy and I got off at the next stop and went into the next car. I saw him through the window and he was still staring at me. At the next stop I moved again and was worried he would follow me but luckily I didn’t see him for the rest of my long train ride.

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Uncategorized

HOLLA ON THE GO: 7 Train

A few weeks ago, I was on the 7 train heading from Manhattan to queens when a man in sweatpants kept smiling at me on the train. At one point he came very close to me and smiled and said something. I took out my headphones and he asked the time. Both myself and the woman next to me said the time and he smiled very close to my face. At the next stop, the woman got up from next to me and he sat down and put his hand on my thigh. I quickly got up and moved to the center of the car. No one in the train did anything. I moved to the next car at the next stop and I believe he noticed me. He also got off at the same stop that I did, but I walked quickly and lost him. I did not report it.

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assault

Assaulted at the Thanksgiving Parade

One of my fondest childhood memories is going to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade in New York, which was an annual tradition in our family. I look back to those times before my parents’ bitter breakup as an idyllic time. So I go every year. It doesn’t matter that I’m single. If I’m not dating, I go by myself. I just watch the floats and breathe in the crisp fall air, and close my eyes and I feel that warm sense of comfort and tranquility. This year, something happened that spoiled it.

I’d arrived early and got a good spot up front at the police barricade. People joined me as the crowd gathered. A family – a yuppiesh couple in their late 30s, and these cute little girls about 10 and 6 – settled in beside me. They were very well dressed; the father wore an expensive coat and scarf. They looked like a Hallmark card. The girls were up next to me, and Mom and Dad standing behind. All so nice. Until I felt the dad’s cock against my ass. It wasn’t innocent; it wasn’t THAT crowded, and his dick got hard in under a minute.

I know what that louse, with his perfect hair with just that gentlemanly touch of gray at the temples, was thinking. He knew I wasn’t going to make a scene in front of his family. No, how could I? Hey, he probably thought he was doing this lonely young woman a favor, honoring her with physical contact and body heat on the holidays. Maybe I’d back up on him a little, a nice trophy. That was his plan for this fine Thanksgiving morning: to hump my ass for 45 minutes or so as he played Mr. Perfect Dad. And you know, I almost let him win. I looked at that adorable 6-year-old girl smiling so happily and looking back every once in a while to tell her father who a float was and ask him about ones she couldn’t identify. And he’d answer oh-so-patiently. How could I ruin her perfect day, and rob her of a cherished memory?

Then I looked at his wife, beaming at him with adoration. She’s going to spend the next 10 years thinking she’s married to Mr. Wonderful, until one day, eventually, she finds out he’s a cheater and a liar. I could have just moved, or I could have said, “Excuse me, could you back up?” That warning, if you do it in a stern voice, gets 90 percent of pervs to back off.

But instead, I whipped around, looked the guy dead in the eye and said, “Can you please get your dick out of my ass!”

You should have seen the panic in his eyes. Then he hustled the family away, telling his wife as they moved to another spot, some bullshit about “crazy New Yorkers.” But the wife made eye contact with me. And I thought, “She knows now. “

I have more I wanted to say, but this is just too upsetting to right about. It is triggering some painful memories of my own father and his betrayals. Thank you for letting me vent.

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Uncategorized

Kids need to be educated

In high school, people are constantly made fun for being gay and are called extremely offensive terms such as the “f” word for gay men. They are outed by their peers, such as are talked about as being “such a f……”

This is unacceptable to the LGBT+ community.

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verbal

HOLLA ON THE GO: Liquor Store

“We’ll get you drunk” yelled at me as I walk into a liquor store

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stalking, verbal

Constant harassment

Yesterday was a Sunday in New York. I woke up, walked the dog. I got a “have a good day miss” right on the door. As I turned the corner I got a “damn she’s thick, GIRL YOU THICK” that was from a group of men. Then about six hours later I had an older man come out of the subway say “oh wow you’re beautiful”. Then on my return home I was crossing Bergen St. A man walking the other direction almost ran into me stopped and said “go a head miss” then I told him no I feel more comfortable with you going first. Right after that two young men said “damn look at that ass” that’s when I said “God can’t I just walk doing the street!”. Then the young men said “this is my street ” and “I’ll fuck you in the ass”. All of this was in passing. I kept walking I turned on to my street and the guy from before that I told to go a head was behind me as I went into my gate. He said ” have a goodnight miss” then I yelled at him “get away, do you not realize how creepy that is to follow me home!”

Most of these comments are not rude. It’s how then are said, it’s the tone. It’s the way a man in passing whispers in your ear “beautiful”. That crosses my personal boundaries and space. It’s exhausting being a woman just trying to walk down the street. I can only hope that mothers today are raising their sons to be respectful men, to just keep it to yourself. Just because you see something you like you don’t need to yell it out. When I see a pair of shoes I want i don’t yell “damn shoes! I’m going to buy you up and slide my foot right in you!”.

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nonverbal harassment, Story

HOLLA ON THE GO: He forcefully grabbed my arm

A medium height man wearing a black jacket forcefully grabbed my arm as I was crossing the street and he was coming from the opposite side. He was a complete stranger who thought it was his right to assault me in a public place. He mouthed some words at me but I was scared so I walked away quickly. At least 5 other people saw this take place at the crosswalk on centre and walker streets.

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Story, verbal

HOLLA ON THE GO: Creep talking to my daughters in the subway

Last week at 3:30pm in the Lorimer/Metropolitan station my daughters (12 and 14 years old) were on their way home from school. They told me that a man (stranger) came very close to them, snuck up on them then started asking lots of questions. “are you on the way home from school?” And warning them to “Be careful talking to strangers”. And how there might be “sexual predators” around. All the while they said he was standing much too close and staring especially at my younger daughter, and saying to be careful that someone in a van might get her.

He scared the kids (and me, when I heard the story once they were home). They managed to move
In the subway car when it came, to avoid him, and when he got out at the same stop as them at Greenpoint Ave, they took the long way home and did not use the India Street exit to avoid him crossing his path again or him seeing where they got off or live.

I made a police report. The policeman at the 94th precinct said since nothing happened it could only be for harassment. He then tried to tell me not to worry –“nothing can happen in the subway anyway”- I was incredulous (ridiculous thing to tell me..). I’m angry.

There are a lot of sex offenders in North Greenpoint. This person should *never* have approached my daughters in this way, no matter his status.

His description: male, white or Hispanic, 5’9″ or so, buzz cut gray hair, 50-60 years old, uses a cane.

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nonverbal harassment, Story

Anthony’s Story: Another Teenager’s Story

I was just another teenager getting on the train going home. When I got on the crowded 4 train I saw a woman in her late 20s or early 30s looking right at me. While I left stepped past her she put her big buttocks in my groin. I had to put my hand on her buttocks for her to get off me. I stared at this woman to the next stop and she got off. That is right a female pedophile targeted a 16 year old boy!

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