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It’s Monday. It’s going to be a nice 70 degree day. I have to be in the office all day. I am going to wear a short sleeved dress with my jean jacket and flats because it’s a nice outfit and I want to look and FEEL nice.
But wait…as I make my commute from home (Central Brooklyn) to the office (East Harlem), did I make a mistake because it seems like wearing a dress meant that it was an open invitation for verbal harassment, looks, and noises from all men.
When a female wears a dress/skirt, does it act like an “on switch” that says for guys, “Yes. I am open for comments now.” IT’S ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!
WHAT is it? What’s it all about? Like wearing a dress or skirt means easier access for the vagina? Or a possibility of the wind blowing it up for you to take a peep? WHAT IS IT ABOUT?
The unnecessary and unwanted attention makes me want to rethink my wardrobe choices. Like I don’t even want to wear a dress for a few days again BECAUSE I don’t want to go through this again.
I wore this outfit for me. To make ME feel good. Instead, because of harassment, it makes me feel disgusted and frustrated that I even made an effort to look decent.
I was groped by a young boy, about 12 years old, after refusing to give him money to support his basketball team.
I was crossing E. 168th Street to get to my office, and a man was also crossing the street coming towards me. He made a kissing noise and said “Can I take you somewhere?” I said, “Don’t f*ing talk to me” and kept walking. He laughed and said “Oh my god, spicy! I like that!” I wish I’d been more articulate, but I was so angry! I’ve had a few other incidents near work but this was the most aggressive I’ve seen in a while.
A truck driver whistled and called out to a clearly underaged girl. He said she had an amazing ass. I didn’t plan to yell at him, but I’m so so sick of it. I told him not to whistle or talk to women on the street. Naturally, he called me a bitch, gave me the finger, and honked loudly. Many, many people saw. No one said anything. I teach 11-year-old students who routinely tell me they are harassed. They ask me what to do – what is the safest response. The saddest thing is I have no idea what to tell them. Women have been killed for responding and killed for not responding. I have the girls talk to their male peers to explain what happens to them every day. Maybe that will help – the boys are amazed and sympathetic.
Anyway, still shaking with anger. I wish I could do more.
I was walking from Penn Station with a large duffel bag. I was waiting for the light to turn when an older man approached me and said hello various times. He asked me several times where I was from, asking if I was from California. I didn’t respond and it seemed like he thought I couldn’t hear him cause he just kept saying the same thing over and over. Then he asked me which way Penn Station was, and either out of instinct or because I thought it meant he would leave, I turned to face him and pointed in the right direction. He completely ignored my answer and asked again if I was from California. I glared at him, told him to fuck off, and crossed the street.
So tired of being harassed every time stepped outside of my apartment, not even wear anything colorful or without leggings/tights. Doesn’t matter if it is day or night, it happens all the time. I even start not going out if it is not necessary. I start feeling trapped.
Today was Mother’s Day. I was riding the subway back from Times Square with my mom and my little cousin. A man was standing very close to me and right before his stop he tried to grab my vagina through my skirt. I was in shock. The only thing I did was yell. I am so mad at myself for not punching him in the face. Clearly he thought that this was okay but it is not okay at all. Now he will do this to another girl because I did nothing about it. I am so mad at myself.
A complete stranger flashed his private parts to me.
I was walking into my father in law’s house when 4 men coming home from work crossed the street towards me and started shouting “Aye mami! How you doin’? Come here mami!” I told them where to go and they laughed and continued to taunt me until I found my keys and got inside the house.
he followed me about a block but I turned to go into a house. Nice fellas on the block were aware he was following me.