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I am verbally harassed on a DAILY BASIS. The block I live on has a deli on the corner and every single day I have something inappropriate yelled or WHISPERED at me. It’s usually about my body, my clothes or the fact that I’m not smiling. Of course when I turn down their at first seemingly innocent but nonetheless extremely unwanted advances, I’m then called a dyke or a bitch or whatever else they can think of. I’m tired of MEN verbally abusing me in public! I’ve been tired of it since puberty.
Earlier tonight I was walking along St. Marks Place around 11 pm and when I stopped at the crosswalk a young white* man, who looked like an NYU student, began catcalling me with “wing wang”. I am an Asian female who had to grow up in Eastern Connecticut in the 80s, so I wasn’t going to take any of this B.S. in NYC. So I called him a “rude little white boy who needs to shut the hell up” (I’m no Mother Theresa and neither do I care to be). His expression changed immediately. His 2 friends, a white and black girl, both stood by giggling. To me there is nothing more tragic than minorities who think it’s funny to use racial slurs against other races. The kid followed me across the street so like a good New Yorker I unleashed a litany of expletives upon him. He kept at the “wing wang” for a while longer–then gave up after his friends told him to let it go. From under what rock do these crapheads crawl out from? If they don’t like Asians they can go back to wherever the hell they came from. We’re a big part the NYC community and that’s not gonna change.
*EDITOR’S NOTE: We do not include race unless it is relevant to the story, in accordance to our anti-discrimination policy. In this case, we believe it’s relevant because the harassment was racially motivated.
I identified myself as a woman of color as it is my view that much of the harassment I get can be attributed to that plus I’m attractive. Sadly inciting the anger of a security guard for no reason is something that causes me a great deal of pain. The only one asked where- I’m going -given hard looks and then followed with his eyes – as I’m leaving ( I watched in the glass) while people walked in he did not know. Why does being attractive incite so much hate in them? Same story with security.
I was minding my own business on the Q Train the other day, heading to Long Island City, when I notice the guy sitting next to me mumbling and singing quietly to himself. I ignore him. Pretty soon, he shifts in his seat and begins to stare directly at me, singing and mumbling louder. I continue to ignore him, thinking furiously in my mind “leave me alone! leave me alone!” When the train pulls into 42nd Street, he mimics the overhead speaker’s announcement in a high-pitched singsong voice, still staring directly at me, and then pauses, as though expecting me to laugh at his cleverness. I do not smile. I do not even look at him. When the doors open, he gets up to leave and I am like “yes- thank god” in my head, but as he rushes out of the train, he stops to whack me on top of the head, shouting “BOOP!” before dashing out the door. I was startled. He was gone before I could say anything, so all I could do was open my mouth in astonishment and shoot a piercing glare in his direction. Honestly, the nerve of people! I don’t even know how to deal with it when things like that happen. I just kept thinking that I would have to wash my hair as soon as I got home because he probably gave me lice or something from his disgusting grubby hands. Attention idiot on the Q Train- you don’t have the right to touch me EVER. Not if I ignore you, not if I don’t laugh at your stupid jokes, not EVER.
I was getting off the train car 2 days ago when a young, tall slender asian man groped my rear and my immediate response was to shove him, causing him to fall over into the subway crowd on the train car. He was obviously caught off guard (just as much as I was) and tried to play it off like he was innocent and I had originally assaulted him, however there were two male witnesses in the crowd. One middle-aged asian man who was there pointed out that he saw the man grope me and another man tried to hold the car doors open to stall the train, however I got off after the physical confrontation and the groper fled the scene. If there was anyone that day, on Thursday, February 28, 2013 that witnessed the scene as well or can help in any way, please get in touch!
I am a young asian woman in her early 20′s and was wearing a black corduroy leggings, a blue shirt with a black leather jacket at the time.
Walking home from the subway. Almost thought I’d make it home for once without experiencing street harassment. Until a guy pulled his car up alongside me, obnoxiously honked his horn, and shouted “that’s nice sweetie” followed by laughter and indistinguishable words as he drove away. Coward.
Dear Tri-State Area Hollabackers!,
WE NEED YOUR HELP! On Saturday, March 23rd, Eileen Fisher will donate 10% of their total sales throughout all 9 of their New York stores to Hollaback! In addition to the financial support, Eileen Fisher is inviting us to set up tables in their stores to educate their customers about how to respond to, and ultimately end street harassment! Needless to say, this is an incredible opportunity.
In order to make this partnership a success, we need 2 volunteers in each of the 9 stores from 12-5pm on March 23rd to raise awareness about street harassment and Hollaback!’s efforts to end it. You’ll be paired with a member of our board or staff and actively interact with the customers throughout the day. We have 10 volunteers signed up so far — and we need 7 more.
If you are able to help out that day, please reach out to me at debjani@ihollaback.org.
Thanks for your support! And let me know if you have any questions.
Debjani
Deputy Director, Hollaback!
On the F train, which was almost empty, I was reading a book in one hand and holding onto the bar with another. Suddenly my purse swung up and hit me in the face. I turned around and asked the guy behind me why he punched my purse. He said I was touching his butt. Untrue. I said, excuse me sir. If you are being disrupted by my purse, you can use your words and ask me nicely to move it. You may not hit me or my belongings. Do you understand me? Eventually he conceded.
This actually happened just this morning on my way to work, February 26. I was sitting talking to my sister and a man was standing near me. Gradually he gets closer and closer until he’s pressed up against my arm. At first, I think the train is just crowded, it’s not what I think it is. But the train begins to clear out and he’s still pressed against my arm. He moves slightly and I realize he’s rubbing himself against my arm. I completely froze. I honestly thought if something like this ever happened to me, I’d be ready. I’d yell, I’d whip out my phone and snap his picture, but I froze. I finally came back to reality and elbowed him and glared at him. He finally moved away from my arm. I’m almost more pissed at myself for not being stronger.
This was definitely not the worst harassment I’ve experienced, but a part of the exchange really stood out to me. I was walking down the street texting, and I hear someone shout, “Hey beauty.” I look up to see a group of guys standing near a store, and the one in front had an unsettling grin on his face. I looked him straight in the eye and said, “Fuck you.” He immediately reacted by saying, “Oh ALRIGHT, hey you’re not even that cute anyways.” Essentially, women with voices are unattractive.